July 22, 2011
One of the things I remember from my early days of serving as a local church pastor is the sticker shock I experienced when I saw the price tag of the group health insurance for the ministers in my state. The plans would often change year to year as some new insurer took over. It turns out ministers are a high-risk group! That may seem surprising to some of you, but the reasons are not that hard to understand. Ministers often work long hours, answer phone calls at all hours of the night, walk with families through heartbreak, put a lot of themselves into their work…and often don’t take care of themselves very well. It is the last part that is the killer, literally.
In 1944 at Yale University, standing before young ministers on the cusp of their careers, Paul Scherer warned them to take care of themselves. It is an odd thing that ministers, called to be stewards of the Scripture and of the congregations they serve, are often not good stewards of themselves.
“My word to you is that you regard and treat this aspect of your ministry as fundamental. The training of the body may be of small service, as Paul says, when you compare it with training for the religious life (I Timothy 4:8); but squanderers of health are quite as culpable as any other squanderers and profligates. They will answer for it. The plain fact is that you cannot serve God as you might with an instrument that you have abused; whether from ignorance or with full knowledge, whether by harmful habits or by careless inattention makes no difference. And Life and God will some day render their account and want to know why.” (Scherer, For We Have This Treasure p. 33, 34)
I suspect ministers are not the only guilty parties here. Recently, my wife and I joined the fitness center run by the hospital. If you work here and you take a few steps, you can join it for free. FOR FREE! She has been going almost every day. I went with her to a Zumba class for the first time the other night. I don’t know if the ache in my gut afterward was from trying to copy the instructor’s moves or from laughing so hard at myself as I tried to keep up. It was a lot of fun and a great work out too.
He spoke from the hospital bed, aided by the oxygen flowing through the tubing that hung over his ears and under his nose. “If I had known I was going to live so long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” he said, half smiling and totally serious. His story was as clear an example of 20/20 hindsight as I have ever heard. But that is the problem with hindsight. It yields wisdom, to be sure, but the consequences of the lessons learned are sometimes irreversible.
Life and God will indeed render their account.
I’d rather learn from forewarning any day. You?
Blessings to you all,
Jerald
Showing posts with label self-care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-care. Show all posts
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Be Good To Yourself!
Reverend David Gant, my pastor’s grandfather, is in his mid 80’s. He is one of those persons about whom the more you know, the more you want to know. He has a beaming smile, a gentle disposition and is always ready with an encouraging word. What he hasn’t had is an easy life.
His wife, who died last year, spent the last few years of her life suffering from Alzheimer’s syndrome. Rev. Gant was faithful to the end. He would go to the nursing home to see her three times a day to feed her breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have a vivid memory of talking with Rev. Gant after morning worship about five years ago. “How are you?” I asked. “I’m great this morning,” he replied. “I went to see my wife this morning to feed her breakfast and she remembered who I was.”
This past Sunday, he greeted everyone coming in for worship and gave us that great smile, a handshake and a blue slip of paper. I have read it a dozen or more times since. I have no idea of the original source, so I can’t give due credit, but it is worth sharing.
BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Be Yourself…Truthfully
Accept Yourself…Gratefully
Value Yourself…Joyfully
Forgive Yourself…Completely
Treat Yourself…Generously
Balance Yourself…Harmoniously
Bless Yourself…Abundantly
Trust Yourself…Confidently
Love Yourself…Wholeheartedly
Empower Yourself…Prayerfully
Give Yourself…Enthusiastically
Express Yourself…Radiantly
Our work in healthcare is always demanding and sometimes draining. Self-care is not an option. It is a requirement. Be good to yourself. You have my permission.
Blessings to you all,
His wife, who died last year, spent the last few years of her life suffering from Alzheimer’s syndrome. Rev. Gant was faithful to the end. He would go to the nursing home to see her three times a day to feed her breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have a vivid memory of talking with Rev. Gant after morning worship about five years ago. “How are you?” I asked. “I’m great this morning,” he replied. “I went to see my wife this morning to feed her breakfast and she remembered who I was.”
This past Sunday, he greeted everyone coming in for worship and gave us that great smile, a handshake and a blue slip of paper. I have read it a dozen or more times since. I have no idea of the original source, so I can’t give due credit, but it is worth sharing.
BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Be Yourself…Truthfully
Accept Yourself…Gratefully
Value Yourself…Joyfully
Forgive Yourself…Completely
Treat Yourself…Generously
Balance Yourself…Harmoniously
Bless Yourself…Abundantly
Trust Yourself…Confidently
Love Yourself…Wholeheartedly
Empower Yourself…Prayerfully
Give Yourself…Enthusiastically
Express Yourself…Radiantly
Our work in healthcare is always demanding and sometimes draining. Self-care is not an option. It is a requirement. Be good to yourself. You have my permission.
Blessings to you all,
Friday, April 10, 2009
Icebergs
Larry Kelly is an Air Force veteran. For twenty years he taught small arms tactics to Air Force recruits. In retirement, he continues to serve the Air Force as a civilian counselor. I heard him speak last Tuesday about the kinds of issues facing those he works with at Patrick Air Force Base. He talked about the stresses of deployment, divorce, risk-taking and thrill-seeking behaviors, and the high rate of suicide. He is evidence that the military takes these things very seriously and is seriously trying to address them.
Larry gave us a handout with a picture of an iceberg on it. He said, “Before we started surveying the base population, we thought we knew what kinds of problems we were dealing with, but after the survey, we realized we didn’t know the half of it.” He said it is like the iceberg in the picture. You only see the one-third that is above the surface. It is the weight and mass below the surface, out of sight, that is so dangerous.
The people that I work with, the people in our hospital, the people in my own family…and yes, even I, have so much stuff below the surface that remains invisible to most who see us. We’re all icebergs. But we better let somebody see it. We’d better process it somewhere with someone we trust. If not, even the Titanic is not safe.
Easter Blessings,
Jerald
Larry gave us a handout with a picture of an iceberg on it. He said, “Before we started surveying the base population, we thought we knew what kinds of problems we were dealing with, but after the survey, we realized we didn’t know the half of it.” He said it is like the iceberg in the picture. You only see the one-third that is above the surface. It is the weight and mass below the surface, out of sight, that is so dangerous.
The people that I work with, the people in our hospital, the people in my own family…and yes, even I, have so much stuff below the surface that remains invisible to most who see us. We’re all icebergs. But we better let somebody see it. We’d better process it somewhere with someone we trust. If not, even the Titanic is not safe.
Easter Blessings,
Jerald
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Dead Seas and Dry Lakes
“You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance.” Ps. 68:9
The Dead Sea isn’t actually dead. Some things live in it, just not many things. The extremely high salt content of its waters will not support many forms of life, with the exception of some bacteria and fungi. The primary reason for this high salinity is that the Dead Sea has no outlet. Water from the Jordan River and a few other streams flow in. Nothing flows out. Ministers, myself included, have sometimes used this fact to underscore the importance of serving others. As we receive, we should also give in order to avoid the spiritual equivalent of becoming a Dead Sea ourselves.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the deadness that follows giving and giving without receiving any refreshing inflow. In either case, the outcome is the same; the absence of the ability to support life.
This has been an incredibly busy week at our hospital. The volume of patients that have come through our doors and the acute nature of many of their health problems have challenged and stretched our Care Givers. Yesterday, one family member of one such patient noted with no small amazement how their nurse was crying with them as they wept over their loved one’s waning moments of life. She was not unique. That caring spirit pervades every department of our hospital. I am so grateful to work with so many caring hearts who make the choice not only to be excellent at their task, but to be exceptionally caring too.
To continue in this ability to be touched by the pain of others, to be able to connect emotionally and spiritually, caregivers must also care for themselves. Taking the time to exercise, relax, do something fun, and feed your spirit keeps the inflow coming so that your outflow does not result in emotional and spiritual exhaustion. Around here we don’t have “Dead Seas.” Let’s care for ourselves, and each other, so that we don’t have any dry lakes either.
Blessings to you all,
The Dead Sea isn’t actually dead. Some things live in it, just not many things. The extremely high salt content of its waters will not support many forms of life, with the exception of some bacteria and fungi. The primary reason for this high salinity is that the Dead Sea has no outlet. Water from the Jordan River and a few other streams flow in. Nothing flows out. Ministers, myself included, have sometimes used this fact to underscore the importance of serving others. As we receive, we should also give in order to avoid the spiritual equivalent of becoming a Dead Sea ourselves.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the deadness that follows giving and giving without receiving any refreshing inflow. In either case, the outcome is the same; the absence of the ability to support life.
This has been an incredibly busy week at our hospital. The volume of patients that have come through our doors and the acute nature of many of their health problems have challenged and stretched our Care Givers. Yesterday, one family member of one such patient noted with no small amazement how their nurse was crying with them as they wept over their loved one’s waning moments of life. She was not unique. That caring spirit pervades every department of our hospital. I am so grateful to work with so many caring hearts who make the choice not only to be excellent at their task, but to be exceptionally caring too.
To continue in this ability to be touched by the pain of others, to be able to connect emotionally and spiritually, caregivers must also care for themselves. Taking the time to exercise, relax, do something fun, and feed your spirit keeps the inflow coming so that your outflow does not result in emotional and spiritual exhaustion. Around here we don’t have “Dead Seas.” Let’s care for ourselves, and each other, so that we don’t have any dry lakes either.
Blessings to you all,
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