The Things We Forget

I remember the first time I saw a naso-gastric tube. A friend from the church I used to attend when I lived in Tallahassee, FL was hospitalized in Atlanta. I walked in and greeted him and was happy to see that he was smiling and in good spirits. We talked for a while and caught up on the events  in our respective lives, but the whole time, I kept looking at the tube coming from his nose. To be honest, I had no idea what it was for, but looking at the tube and the greenish-brown liquid flowing through it made my stomach a bit queasy.

I no longer get queasy about much of anything I see in hospitals. Years of working in healthcare will do that for you. But I was reminded of that long-forgotten feeling this week by a couple of events. One was personal. The other was the lived experience of a patient I met.

My story, as previously shared on Facebook, went like this:

I was doing my manly duty, mowing the yard and suddenly it was as if a BLOW TORCH was lighting up the inside of my right leg, about six inches above my ankle. I proceeded to hop and holler and flail at whatever beast had attached itself to my flesh. What was it? A one inch-long, yellow and black DEMON STRAIGHT FROM THE PIT OF HELL monster of a YELLOW JACKET, pumping its VILE POISON into my burning appendage.

It has been 40 or more years since I have been stung by one and now, an hour and a half and a shower later, it still feels like a HOT POKER is being stuck to my leg! SO, to all my friends whose job it is to stick sharp objects into human flesh, when next my time comes and you say, "Ok, a little bee sting," I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Our patient's story went like this; He was brought into the hospital for one ailment and the physician's examination revealed something more serious yet that earned him a hospital stay and more diagnostic tests. Soon, he was surrounded by a group of strangers doing whatever it is that that do. Having never been in the hospital in his 60+ years from birth until that day, he was not at all sure what they did. As he told the story of being gifted with a urinary catheter, his eyes grew wide and his voice became more passionate. They tried to reassure him that he shouldn't be embarrassed; after all, they had done this hundreds of times before. To which he said, "Well, I have never had this done before and I have never had 9 people looking at me naked before because I HAD NEVER BEEN IN A HOSPITAL BEFORE!

In every line of work, we become accustomed to the language and activities of our craft. That is normal. In the hospital, we get used to blood, needles, IV poles, dialysis machines, heart monitors and naso-gastric tubes. It is easy to forget what bee stings are really like and easy to forget that our patients may not share our level of comfort with our environment. It took a yellow jacket to remind me of that. It is not a memory aide that I would recommend!

Happy Hospital Week!

Jerald

Fear Less

Happy Friday the 13th! I’ve said that a few times today and it has generated some laughs and some discussion about superstitions. There are people who are genuinely afraid of the number 13. Triskaidekaphobia is the name for this irrational fear. How the number 13 became so fearful, I’m not entirely sure. But I have noticed that most tall buildings have a 12th floor and a 14th floor, but not a 13th. Hoteliers are afraid guests would refuse to stay on that floor, so rather than waste the space, they call it 14.

It is amazing how easily fear can take over our thoughts. Fear is a powerful emotion and, as newspapers, movies, themeparks, and TV have discovered, it sells!
Max Lucado in his book Fearless, cites a study by reporter Bob Garfield on the increasing focus on fear in broadcast and print media reporting. His findings were enlightening. Major publications over the brief period of his inquiry reporting on health issues said;
· 59 million Americans have heart disease,
· 53 million Americans have migraines,
· 25 million Americans have osteoporosis,
· 3 million have cancer,
· 2 million have severe brain disorders,
“Reportedly, in total, 543 million Americans consider themselves to be seriously sick, a troubling figure since there are 266 million people in the country. As Garfield noted, ‘Either as a society we are doomed, or someone is seriously double-dipping.” Fearless, p. 159.
In healthcare today, the environment has become so anxious that a reorganization of one health system can cause ripple effects of fear throughout an entire region. The anxiety bubbles up and our stomachs start to churn. We are not alone. The feeling is pervasive, it seems. Fear. It is a highly contagious bug. To defeat it, we need a strong immune system. What follows is and extra shot of B12 and a high dose bolus of vitamin C.

“There’s a stampede of fear out there. Let’s not get caught in it. Let’s be among those who stay calm. Let’s recognize danger but not be overwhelmed. Acknowledge threats but refuse to be defined by them. Let others breathe the polluted air of anxiety, not us. Let’s be numbered among those who hear a different voice, God’s. Enough of these shouts of despair, wails of doom. Why pay heed to the doomsdayer on Wall Street or the purveyor of gloom in the newspaper? We will incline our ears elsewhere; upward. We will turn to our Maker, and because we do, we will fear less.” Fearless, p. 159.

I’m taking my dose now. Want to join me?
Blessings to you all!
Jerald

Love is a Verb

“All hardback books $5, all paperback books, $3.” That’s what the sign said at the bookstore at the Orange County Convention Center the week of my denominational chaplains commission meeting and general assembly. In no time flat, I had picked out six books for a total of $27.00. A bargain even I couldn’t resist.

Two of the books are about relationships, one is about the sacraments, and another focuses on the Lord’s Prayer. Currently, I’m reading a book by Tim Keel titled “Intuitive Leadership: Embracing a Paradigm of Narrative, Metaphor & Chaos.” I won’t bore you with trying to re-state all that the book talks about, but the major point, very well told in the book, is that the world has changed and continues to change is fundamental ways. We all know it. We all feel it, though we can’t often name it or understand it or the meaning of it. We see it in the blur of technological change and how quickly the latest gadget is obsolete. We see it in how differently Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Gen Nexters relate to authority and work. How, asks Keel, is the church to live in and be relevant to a world so dramatically different than that of a generation ago?

The world of healthcare has changed just as rapidly. Healthcare workers have changed. Patients have changed. Treatment and payment models have changed. It turns out that the religious experts and the healthcare experts face similar challenges. How can healthcare keep up with a changing landscape where our success depends equally upon quality measures and patient satisfaction scores? Keel’s message to the church is just as relevant to the hospital, I think. The church can’t just proclaim a message and expect to be heard and believed. The message must be lived in order to be heard.

Hospitals too must live out their mission. It isn’t enough anymore to be the experts in fixing broken bones, unclogging arteries or curing infections. They must live quality and they must also live care and compassion. In short, the answer for both, it seems to me is the sixth book I purchased. That book is by Gary Chapman. It is a collection of stories about how one person touched the life of another. The title is simple. The message is profound. “Love is a Verb.”

Blessings to you all,

Jerald

Make a bid!

My first experience at an auction was as a boy at the Bradford County fair in Starke, Florida. The auctioneer was selling steers that had been raised by kids in the Future Farmers of America (FFA). I remember thinking how foreign the language sounded and wondering how anyone could spit words out so quickly. He called for bids, acknowledged bids and challenged the bidders to ante up higher and higher until he said “Sold!”

In their book, The Relationship Cure , authors John Gottman and Joan DeClaire talk about relational bids. These are efforts to connect with others. We all make them, these bids, with a look, a smile, a greeting or a comment that invites others to connect with us. Dr. Gottman speaks about three possible responses to bids and the differences those responses can make in a relationship. Take the simple question, “Would you like to have dinner with me?” Turning toward looks like this. “I’d love to, thanks.” Or, “That’s a nice invitation, but I can’t. I have to get home to my boyfriend.” Turning away is illustrated by, “No. Sorry, I’m busy.” And turning against by, “No, I’m cleaning the lint out of my dryer tonight" (p. 55).

The different responses show varying levels of regard toward the other. Turning toward shows a highly positive regard. Turning away is less positive and bordering on indifference. Turning against is negative and moving toward hostility.

Dr. Gottman’s research with hundreds of married couples revealed that in couples headed for divorce, men turned away or against their spouse’s bids 82% of the time and women did so 50% of the time. In happily married couples the numbers were 19% of the time for men and 14% of the time for women (p. 4). Dr. Gottman observed that when people received consistently negative responses to their bids, they quickly gave up trying and the relationship deteriorated rapidly.

This bidding process doesn’t just happen between couples. We make bids and receive bids from co-workers too. Patients bid for caregivers’ attention with call lights, questions and facial expressions.

Right now, somewhere, someone is making a bid to you, bidding for your attention or care. Which response will you choose?

Blessings to you all,


Jerald