Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Dad plus 16

“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom” (Psalm 90:12)

As of today, I’m 56 years or 20454 days old. I’m sixteen years older than my father was at the time of his death. Sixteen years seems like a long time, and it is, I suppose. But in those moments when I stop to reflect, it also seems remarkably brief. And that is what I have been doing the last few days. Mostly I’ve been reflecting on all the things I have been able to see, do and experience that my father didn’t.

He didn’t see us getting ready for our first day on our first job. My father didn’t see his children graduate from high school. He didn’t get to spend his twentieth anniversary with my mom. He missed witnessing the nervous excitement of his daughters as he walked them down the aisle to give them away to equally nervous young men. And what he wouldn’t have given to be able to see his children’s children, to hold them in his arms and to experience that moment when the lights go on as the weight of parenthood settles on their shoulders.

I have had those moments. I have had these sixteen years. I don’t care about the gray hair or the crow's feet. I have lived the past sixteen years…and in each of those moments when I have experienced such remarkable joy, I have thought about him and what he has missed. And I have wished that my wife, children and grandchildren could have known the sweet, funny, gentle man that he was.

I miss him today. I always will. I know that. But mostly what I am feeling today is a profound sense of gratitude. In the past sixteen years, I have experienced more blessings than I could have imagined.

What about you? Looking back over your last sixteen years, you probably can remember blessings of your own, as well as heartbreaks, hard times and even failures. But for a moment, think about the blessings. Take the time today to re-live those moments, to savor them and to give thanks for them.

What will the next sixteen years bring? I have no idea. But if they could be half as special as the last sixteen, bring it on!
Jerald